Jack: Ianto will you *please* quit staring at my breasts? I mean, it's not like you've never seen any before. Right?
Ianto (totally mesmerised and fingering them reverently): They feel so *real*....
Jack (practically purring): They are real (Jack lets out a small gasp) believe me - *fully* functioning... Now, are you coming to bed to commit insatiable acts of lust with this body or not?