donutsweeper (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
donutsweeper) wrote2007-10-04 02:50 pm
donutsweeper) wrote2007-10-04 02:50 pm
The Siamese Sea
Title: The Siamese Sea
Pairing/Rating/Warning: None, rated G
Word Count: 409
Summary: Armed only with vacuum cleaners Owen and Ianto have to fight off horde of felimorphs to save Jack
Author's Notes: This is allhellenebright's fault, who jokingly mentioned about having to write a fic with Siamese and vacuum cleaners.
Beta: the wonderfulunfeathered
Pairing/Rating/Warning: None, rated G
Word Count: 409
Summary: Armed only with vacuum cleaners Owen and Ianto have to fight off horde of felimorphs to save Jack
Author's Notes: This is all
hellenebright's fault, who jokingly mentioned about having to write a fic with Siamese and vacuum cleaners. Beta: the wonderful
unfeathered“Do you have them set right?” Ianto yelled over the din.
“Yes!” Owen screamed back, not remotely positive, and massively panicking. “Just keep pointing it at them! But don’t start it yet. They need to be within range!”
The horde of felimorphs was getting closer and closer, like a sea of cats descending upon them. The two men stood their ground, in the center of the abandoned car park, feeling rather exposed. Their only line of defense was the old vacuum cleaners Tosh had converted, somehow, to do... something. The something involved resonating fields and frequency and a lot of other techo-babble that Owen had ignored completely having gotten altogether lost in the explanation once the words ‘transdimensional’ and ‘Newtonian physics’ had crept up. He’d just grabbed the things before she took off to scan the alleys for any strays. Theoretically, if they turned the vacuums on at precisely the correct time the felimorphs’ control over their shape-shifting ability would fail as would their command over everyone they’d infected. Which meant the herd of cats would turn into a mixture of greenish slimeslugs, real cats, and if their luck held out, Jack. If it worked. If Jack really was one of the glowing eyed Siamese approaching them. If he hadn’t slipped away somehow after getting scratched. If. If. If.
“Okay,” shouted Owen, “now!!!”
The vacuum whirred and the cats began to shudder and shake. The closest cat froze, plopped into a green slimy mass and was slurped up by Owen’s vacuum.
“It’s working!” Ianto yelled.
The unrelenting tide of cats nearly engulfed them, but the vacuums did exactly what Tosh had said they would. A few of the cats reacted to the noise by hissing instead of splatting, but then the glow left their eyes and they reverted back to the real cats that they were before running away. Then, finally, one of the last felimorphs shuddered and shook and morphed, not into green slime, but into a human, into Jack. A naked Jack.
He stood up, stretched out a kink in his neck, and smiled at them. “About time! Ianto, my stuff’s in the SUV?” He turned away and walked out without waiting for a response.
“You’re welcome, Jack!” Owen shouted at the retreating figure. “No worries, we’ll just take care of the rest of this mess here.” He looked over at Ianto who had a bemused smile on his face. “We should’a left him as a bloody cat!”
“Yes!” Owen screamed back, not remotely positive, and massively panicking. “Just keep pointing it at them! But don’t start it yet. They need to be within range!”
The horde of felimorphs was getting closer and closer, like a sea of cats descending upon them. The two men stood their ground, in the center of the abandoned car park, feeling rather exposed. Their only line of defense was the old vacuum cleaners Tosh had converted, somehow, to do... something. The something involved resonating fields and frequency and a lot of other techo-babble that Owen had ignored completely having gotten altogether lost in the explanation once the words ‘transdimensional’ and ‘Newtonian physics’ had crept up. He’d just grabbed the things before she took off to scan the alleys for any strays. Theoretically, if they turned the vacuums on at precisely the correct time the felimorphs’ control over their shape-shifting ability would fail as would their command over everyone they’d infected. Which meant the herd of cats would turn into a mixture of greenish slimeslugs, real cats, and if their luck held out, Jack. If it worked. If Jack really was one of the glowing eyed Siamese approaching them. If he hadn’t slipped away somehow after getting scratched. If. If. If.
“Okay,” shouted Owen, “now!!!”
The vacuum whirred and the cats began to shudder and shake. The closest cat froze, plopped into a green slimy mass and was slurped up by Owen’s vacuum.
“It’s working!” Ianto yelled.
The unrelenting tide of cats nearly engulfed them, but the vacuums did exactly what Tosh had said they would. A few of the cats reacted to the noise by hissing instead of splatting, but then the glow left their eyes and they reverted back to the real cats that they were before running away. Then, finally, one of the last felimorphs shuddered and shook and morphed, not into green slime, but into a human, into Jack. A naked Jack.
He stood up, stretched out a kink in his neck, and smiled at them. “About time! Ianto, my stuff’s in the SUV?” He turned away and walked out without waiting for a response.
“You’re welcome, Jack!” Owen shouted at the retreating figure. “No worries, we’ll just take care of the rest of this mess here.” He looked over at Ianto who had a bemused smile on his face. “We should’a left him as a bloody cat!”
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Brilliant :) and the ending is just so Jack, I can all but hear his cheerful greeting. Bravo!
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(Hmmm...Jack as a cat--why do I fear an explosion in the cat population in Cardiff before very long? And then Torchwood has to go round up all the kittens...)
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And Ianto's thinking. "Yeah and who'd be cleaning all the cat hair up out of the hub? I don't think so."
Hee hee, lovely story, made me giggle. Thanks!
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Very possibly! *g*
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Love the little inclusion of naked Jack.
And great Owen voice!
One little typo created by a change you made:
Their only line of defense were the old vacuum cleaners - 'line of defense' is singular, so it should be 'was' not 'were'.
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I snitched this one from becky, for you!
Cats + Fic = Love
and if their luck held out, Jack
but I fell in love when I read
The unrelenting tide of cats nearly engulfed them
I want to iconize "unrelenting tide of cats." Hee!
I love Jack's reaction. I imagine his stretch having a feline quality to it. Just great!
Re: Cats + Fic = Love
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That sounds so very much like Owen, too. Not remotely positive, and massively panicking!
I bet Jack had fun being a cat...
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I'm getting better at remembering to use different icons now. Until I get really into a discussion, and then I forget!
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Absolutely bloody marvellous :)
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*scares you with icon*
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*eyes sleeping kitty suspiciously*
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