donutsweeper | The Big Event

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The Big Event

Title: The Big Event
Pairing/Warning/Rating: Torchwood story with additional characters from Doctor Who, NCIS, Due South and Stargate Atlantis, rated G
Word Count: 3001
Beta:

_medley_
Summary: The Torchwood team plans an important celebration.
Author's Note: This is my 200th story and I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has taken this journey with me. Hugs and donuts for everybody! Now with commentary!

Thursday

Washington Navy Yard, Washington, D.C

Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard was about to leave the morgue for the evening when he paused, his hand on the light switch. Something was... off. He looked over the room, his gaze falling on an envelope lying in the middle of the furthest autopsy table.

"What do we have here?" The table had been empty only minutes ago, he was sure of it. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed as he approached the letter carefully. Experience had taught him suspicious letters were not something to be trifled with.

A gruff "Gibbs" came through the phone at the same time that Ducky realized the envelope was, in fact, a gilded invitation addressed to him in a very fine hand.

"Ah, Jethro," Ducky said, opening the letter and skimming its contents. "I trust I’m not disturbing anything?"

"What do you need, Duck?"

"I simply wanted to make you aware that I shall be heading out of town tomorrow afternoon, so therefore will be unavailable if a case were to come up this weekend."

"Technically we’re not on call so that shouldn’t be a problem. Everything okay?"

"Oh yes indeed, I shall see you on Monday-" Ducky gave the phone an indulgent smile as the call was abruptly terminated when Gibbs hung up without saying goodbye. "Well, well." He pocketed the phone and looked at the letter again. "I can’t believe it is that time already. How exciting!"

The console room, the TARDIS

The Doctor had pried open a panel and, holding his sonic screwdriver in his mouth, and had started working on replacing some of the wiring. Somehow he was always behind on routine maintenance; there was just too much to do, too many things to see and the simple basic things like replacing the wiring before it shorted out just wasn’t something he found all that exiting or desirable in comparison to, well, to just about anything.

But, he’d sworn to himself that he’d try to get caught up on all those things that needed doing. It was just him and the old girl now and he was going to fix her up so she purred. Or at least quit burning him anytime he tried taking her through the vortex. He absentmindedly rubbed the blisters on his left hand. He may be a Time Lord, but those sparks could really hurt!

He was just about to seal the panel back up when a piece of paper fluttered down, landing on top of the pile of refurbished wires he’d just worked on. Paper? Here? Jamming the sonic screwdriver in his pocket he reached over to pick it up, belatedly realizing it was an envelope.

"What?" How did it get there? Things didn’t often just randomly appear in the TARDIS. He flipped it over and saw that was addressed to ‘The Friend of Captain Jack Harkness known as the Doctor.’

"What?" He ripped it open and read it over quickly. "What?"

Canadian Consulate, Chicago, IL

Constable Benton Fraser was finishing up some paperwork when he was interrupted by a quiet knock and a nervous, "Sir?"

"Yes, Constable Turnbull?"

"Excuse me, sir, but this came for you in the mail. Well, not exactly in the mail, it was on the mail, on top of today’s mail, but there isn’t any postage and I already went through the mail today when it first arrived and I could have sworn it wasn’t there then, but maybe...."

"Constable Turnbull?" Fraser interrupted, knowing better than to wait for Turnbull to get to the end of his story on his own.

"Yes, sir?"

"May I see the letter in question?"

"Oh yes, sir. Of course, sir. I was going to open it, but it is for you after all, and I wasn’t sure if I, well, if you. Here it is.." Turnbull strode into the room and deposited the envelope on the desk.

"Thank you," Fraser said, distractedly, "that will be all." The letter was indeed addressed to him, both him and Diefenbaker in fact, which he found to be a trifle unusual. While his wolf usually accompanied him wherever he went, it was more often something that was tolerated, as opposed to actually anticipated . After opening the envelope carefully with his knife and pulling out the invitation, his fingers grazed over the fine calligraphy as he read out loud, "The honour of your presence is requested.... oh dear."

City of Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was a desperate man. The Daedalus was not due to arrive for three days and the mess hall had just informed him there was only enough coffee left in the city for maybe half that time, and that was if McKay and the other scientists stuck to their officially rationed amount. Which was about as likely as the Wraith and the Genii asking to them to all join together for a sing along.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. Dealing with a caffeinated Rodney could be difficult, but a caffeine-less one? Even without any missions scheduled there would be no way to avoid the man; the city was only so big after all and there was no way he could avoid being called in to settle the disputes and frayed nerves that Rodney was bound to cause. To put it bluntly, sometimes being in command sucked.

Maybe he could sneak a puddle jumper out for a little while, just until the edge wore off the caffeine withdrawal. Or maybe he could convince Doctor Keller to sedate everyone until the new supplies showed up. He knew better than to even ask for that, but it was something he and Jack used to joke about every so often.

Damn, he missed Jack. Jack would have been able to charm coffee out of someone, somewhere. People tripped over themselves to set up trading alliances when Jack was negotiating them. But, to be fair, Jack was back where he belonged. He’d stayed in Atlantis until he’d caught up with his own time line and then with a little of what he called "jiggery pokery" to that wrist device of his, and a quick salute, he was gone in a flash of light. There was the occasional message, and a random package or two, but it wasn’t the same.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, trying to figure out how to word an email about the coffee status without creating a citywide panic. That was when he noticed a letter on the desk in front of him, which he knew had been empty only minutes before. There had been no alarms or telltale sounds of beaming technology, but he was still about to call in backup until he decided to read it first. Then he found himself smiling. His problems, for the moment anyway, were solved.

The Hub, Cardiff, Wales

"So the invitations are away then?" Gwen asked Tosh.

"Oh yes." She pointed to the purple shimmery artefact on the table. "Ianto’s discovery of the transdimensional rift-manipulating transmat-capable delivery device in the archives was a godsend."

"I thought we were going to come up with a better name for that thing?" Owen ambled over and reached out to touch it, only to have his hand slapped away.

"Don’t you dare, Owen." Gwen’s tone was stern. "We still need it to get everyone here for the party."

"I wasn’t gonna break it." Owen huffed, but then winced at how whiny he sounded. "Do you think this is going to work?"

"I hope so." Tosh looked up towards Jack’s office. "It certainly can’t hurt matters any," she added quietly.

"How did Ianto came up with the guest list, anyway?" Gwen asked the others.

"Dunno." Owen shrugged. "Our little tea boy’s got all sorts of secrets though. I wouldn’t be suprised if..."

"Wouldn’t be surprised if what, Owen?" Ianto interrupted as he came up from behind them. Gwen laughed as Owen jumped in surprise.

"If, if...if you knew where Jack’s little black book was," Owen said quickly.

"I know things about Jack because I actually listen to him." Ianto stepped closer to Owen, leaning into his personal space. "It’s amazing what a person can learn if they actually pay attention."

"Sometimes I wonder if even half of what he tells us is true." Gwen kept her voice even as she stepped closer, ready to defuse the situation in case it escalated.

"Hard to tell with that one," Owen agreed. "But, we know enough about him to know he needs this."

"Yeah, he does." Gwen sighed and turned to Ianto. "Has he figured it out yet?"

"I don’t think so," Ianto admitted, "but I can’t be certain."

"Is he still up there?" Tosh asked.

"Yeah, I think he’s looking in that box of his again." One by one their eyes went up to Jack’s office. The box was supposed to be a secret, but they all knew about it and the pictures it held. Over 100 years of memories, and many of them apparently painful. Jack always seemed sadder and more lonely after spending time lost in its memories.

"No worries, mate." Owen put an arm around Ianto’s shoulder. "This time tomorrow Jack’ll be back to his old self. No more moping about."

"Owen’s right, Ianto." Tosh smiled at him as she reached out to take his hand. "Jack just needs to remember how many people he still has out are out there."

"And how many people love him," Gwen added, resting her hand briefly over Ianto and Tosh’s.

"I didn’t realize I was paying you to have a lovefest." Jack was standing in the doorway to his office, looking down at them, his voice has harsh and cold as it boomed through the Hub.

The team quickly broke apart. Ianto, in a deft motion, swept the rift device off the table and carried it toward the archive, shielding it from Jack’s view with his body. "I’ll just put this back now that you’re done with your tests, Tosh."

"Oh, yes. Thank you, Ianto." Tosh sat down at her workstation and began furiously typing up a storm.

"Right, and I’ve that paperwork to finish." Gwen walked over to her own desk.

Owen looked around for a moment, biting his lip. "And I’ll, I’ll.... I guess I could go give autopsy that thorough cleaning you’re always asking for."

Out of the corner of his eye Owen caught the slight movement when Jack’s shoulders slumped before the quiet, "Good, good," reply as Jack slipped back into his office.

Owen sighed. "Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!"

Friday Morning

Throughout the world, nearby star systems, and planes of existence, a select group of lucky people carefully prepared for the festivities. Dress uniforms were aired. Tuxes cleaned. Medals polished. Fur brushed. Trainers de-gummed. Some bought presents, others rummaged through pictures, and a few just paced nervously, waiting until the proper time.

Miskin Manor, Miskin, Wales

"Everything’s ready, yeah?" Gwen leaned on the banister, perusing the ornate dining room below.

"Yep." Ianto lifted up his clipboard to show her the various checkmarks next to nearly every line. "It’s certainly helped matters that someone kept notes from the last time they did this."

"They were certainly thorough back then," Gwen commented.

Ianto shook his head. "I still can't believe how much planning his old team, or maybe teams, had put into this. An entire list of appropriate venues complete with suggested menus and aperitifs.... Everything, even down to the flowers for the tables."

"It made things a lot easier for us." Gwen turned and faced Ianto. "Did you know? About," she made a vague hand gesture to the flurry of activity going on everywhere, "Well, all of this. Any of this."

"No. My first year here I was too new, and after that I guess I never put two and two together to realize..."

"No reason that you should have. He hides it well." Gwen shrugged. "It’s easy to only see what he wants us to."

"Still..." Ianto trailed off, a guilty look in his eyes.

"You planned all this, didn’t you? Jack will love it." She touched his arm briefly, a quick sign of support. "I’m going to go do one last check on the room we’re using to transmat the guests into, wouldn’t want any mix-ups there, would we?" She laughed lightly.

Ianto smiled. "No, that certainly wouldn’t do. I better get back to the Hub before Jack becomes suspicious."

"Still no sign he’s figured it out yet?"

"Not that I can see, and considering he cancelled the last one- twenty-five years ago- I think we’re safe."

"Good! Now get going. Go, keep our fearless leader distracted until we’re ready for him!"

"Gwen!" Ianto blushed, but Gwen just grinned as she took off down the stairs.

Late Friday Afternoon

The Hub, Cardiff, Wales

"Jack?" Tosh called out. "Jack, the rift alarms are going off."

Jack ran over to her workstation. "What have we got?"

Typing quickly, she brought up different screens. "Rift activity. A lot of it."

"Where?" Jack had grabbed his coat and put it on.

"Just east of Cardiff." She squinted at the readings. "In Miskin, it looks like. Whatever it is, it’s building, Jack. I haven’t seen readings like this since the rift was opened."

"You stay here and..." Jack looked around. "Wait a minute, where are Gwen and Owen?"

"The police called about that device that showed up on their roof. The one with the squiggly print on it. Andy thought it had to be alien, remember?"

"Oh, right." Jack ran a hand along his chin. "Can you monitor the reading from the SUV?"

"Shouldn’t be a problem. Let me just transfer the feed."

"Ianto?" Jack called into his radio.

"Yes, sir?" was the tinny reply.

"Close up the tourist office and bring the SUV around. I need you out in the field with us."

"Right away, sir"

"Tosh, I’m going to grab some extra weapons out of the armory. I don’t want to be outgunned and undermanned." He turned and began to walk away. "Meet you up top," he threw over his shoulder.

"Be right there, Jack," Tosh replied, waiting until he was well out of sight to break into a wide grin.

On the M4 approaching Miskin, Wales

"Talk to me Tosh." Jack shifted in his seat. He could see the reflections of the information she was reading on the computer screen dancing across her face.

"Multiple rift signatures," she explained, not looking away from the screen. "Whatever is coming through, there is sure a lot of it."

"Great," Jack muttered, "Just great." He turned back to peer through the windshield. "Any luck with Gwen and Owen?"

"They were almost finished when I called," Ianto answered. "They should be only fifteen minutes or so behind us. Owen’s driving," he mentioned as an afterthought, "so maybe not even that."

"Well, that’s something at least." Jack shook his head. "Today of all days."

"Sorry?" Ianto’s eyes flicked to Jack for a moment.

"Nothing." Jack straightened a crease in his jacket and shook his head slightly. "Nothing at all."

"I’ve narrowed down the coordinates," Tosh called out. "Turn north next chance you get, Ianto."

"Not a problem, there’s an exit up ahead."

"We getting close, Tosh?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, not much further now."

"And the rift activity?"

"I think it’s starting to drop off."

"Which doesn’t help us any. Especially considering how many of whatever it is are already here." Jack opened up his wrist comp and began taking his own readings, ignoring the quiet directions Tosh gave to Ianto and relayed to Owen.

Miskin Manor, Miskin, Wales

Jack hopped out when the SUV pulled to a stop in front of the manor. He readied several weapons, passing the pulse cannon to Ianto and two glocks to Tosh. "All right." He consulted his wrist comp one last time. "Multiple targets. We can’t wait for Owen and Gwen, not since I can’t get a fix on whether or not there are people inside. Stay behind me. Shoot only if you have to, but if you think you are in danger do not hesitate to fire. Got it?" Both Ianto and Tosh nodded. "Let’s go."

Jack slowly pushed in the door. Everything was dark, quiet, but not still. Jack’s brow furrowed. "Something’s not right," he whispered to the others.

"Jack?" Ianto did not whisper back. In fact his voice, if anything, was louder than normal.

"Ianto!" Jack hissed. "What are you-"

"Surprise!!!!" The entire room bellowed at once.

The lights came on to show a huge banner proclaiming “Happy 200th Birthday, Jack!”

Gun still out, Jack froze, staring at the crowd of people under the banner. Ianto took a step closer and carefully slipped the Webley out of Jack’s hand before whispering, “You didn’t think we’d forgotten, did you?”

“I.... I...” Jack’s empty hand fell to his side. “I didn’t even know you knew.” He looked over at all the friends his team had gathered together for him. “Ben? Ducky? Sheppard? But how?”

“Transdimensional transmat device... thing.” Owen said, walking up with Gwen. He slapped Jack on the shoulder, while Gwen offered a quick hug. “The best way to travel for even the most discerning guest.”

“And the rift, all this, Tosh, what?”

“Happy Birthday, Jack.” Tosh was so happy she was practically glowing as she leaned over to kiss Jack on the cheek.

“Quite the team you’ve got here, Captain.” The Doctor stepped forward. “And you should take the proper time to tell them that, but not now. I was promised dinner and dancing, so close your mouth, shake off that shock, slip out of that coat and be prepared to stay for awhile!” The Doctor looked around. “Music? Where’s the music? How can we dance without music!”

“Oook!” came an enthusiastic cry from the far side of the crowd.

“Good man!” the Doctor called back. “Now then, Jack. What do you say we get this party started!”

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OMG.....he....called the Librarian..... a..... man!!!!
You know what?? If it weren't for an innate respect for higher life forms he'd get back and find a knot had been tied in the Tardis' door...or maybe in Time and Space!!
Loved it, thanks!

well, it's only 'monkey' that the Librarian truly objects to.. he'll probably accept 'man' from the Doctor, especially if any of the ladies at the party are willing to dance with him.

Glad you liked it!

*giggles*

Your Turnbull voice is perfect! Brilliant piece!

OOOK! (that had me grinning from ear to ear!)

Thank you! Turnbull's fun. Hopeless, but fun. Glad you liked it :)

Oh this is absolutely marvellous! I adore the idea of the Librarian providing the music. And Having Dief on the invite too... just perfect! Congrats on your 200 BTW, that's one hell of an achievement.

But... no Harry? And do you think McAnally sent some beer over?

Harry's in the crowd of course! I debated having invites to everyone, but it got silly. And I'm sure Mac wouldn't have let him show up empty handed, although Harry probably would have figured out a way to cool the beer despite what Mac says.

Thanks!

wonderful! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

thanks! :)

Very sneaky - you can claim to have fulfilled everyone's requests (eg mine for donuts) by claiming that they're in the party scene somewhere. :D

Happy 200th to you and to Jack.

I didn't manage to work the donuts in there, but then again, do you really want to see what happens if the Librarian gets his hands on alien donuts? :)

Thanks!

Nah, you should just say that the donuts *are* in the story - they're on a plate on the table at the back, with the rest of the party food. :D

It's like the guests that you didn't mention by name, but are there anyway.

(BTW, isn't it great that there's a character that everyone recognises just by hearing one word: "Oook!".)

true, true! The donuts are there! Right next to the beer from McAnally's (Dresden Files) and the pile of chocolate for Murry the squirrel.

I love the Librarian exactly for that reason. One "oook" and you're good to go!

This is not meant to be a criticism in any way at all, but I couldn't help trying to acronym (how's that for a new verb?) "transdimensional rift-manipulating transmat-capable delivery device", which comes out as: TRMTCDD.

This is not very pronounce to Earth-normal humans. The Doctor and The Librarian could probably manage.

A bit of fiddling with a dictionary and a thesaurus later, and might I offer the "transdimensional interstitial rift-activating transmat-ability delivery-oriented object"

Or: TIRATADOO

(accent on the last syllable: tir-a-ta-DOO!)

Think of it as a tribute. :D

*giggles* So the Doctor has his TARDIS and now Torchwood has their TIRATADOO? I love it!

I was merely thoroughly enjoying this until Ooook, and then it went from thorough to something off the scale. Fan-frikkin-tastic!

thanks so much! :)

love your icon

Wonderful.

thank you!

YAY
I think that ticked just about every suggestion I saw being thrown at you the other day :D

The Librarian is going to play? It isn't that organ signed by bLoody Stupid Johnson is it??? I mean - he didn't bring it with him did he??

*grins* maybe. Although, I'm sure he'll leave off the barnyard animal keys.

Or maybe he's in a tux and conducting the orchestra. With a fade to black there it's all up to you and how you picture it!

The Librarian in a tux - noe *there's* an image :D

his odd lack of shoulders might be an issue, but he'd manage. After all, women like people in tuxes

And it's a party so I'm pretty sure people won't be noticing his body shape very soon

OOk- Er---

especially if the alien donuts are around somewhere... :)

WRONG!!!! oh so very wrong!!!!!

*hands head* sorry.

Nope no alien donuts here. Owen's set up sensors, remember? Next time they come through he so *so* there!

It is ashamed you should be.

Very ashamed

*nods wisely*

somehow I picture Ducky pinning the librarian in one of his long winded stories and the Librarian getting more and more desperate to GET AWAY but unwilling to resort to violence (he never does unless they use the 'm' word) and just being trapped for hours

*YES*
Poor Librarian. I mean, Ridcully can be pretty obtuse but Ducky would be way worse...

and it would be so frustrating because Ducky means well. And the stories are interesting, BUT... it's the but that's the problem

Oh, my dear! This is perfect in so many ways, I'm quite overwhelmed. In the meta sense it's a celebration for you, and I can see you got several prompts in here, and you used such appropriate voices for each of the different fandom scenes, and you found a surprisingly plausible way to bring together all your universes! I knew you could do it. :) And it's so joyful! I really felt the suspense building myself.

::throws confetti and blows party blowers::

While his wolf usually accompanied him wherever he went, it was more often something that was tolerated, as opposed to actually anticipated.

That's such a good point, and I love that Dief is included! Which means... either Jack has been talking about Diefenbaker, or he actually appears in Jack's book?

People tripped over themselves to set up trading alliances when Jack was negotiating them.

Hee, I bet they did. Well, of course they did. He can charm the pants off a pashahad!

She pointed to the purple shimmery artefact on the table. "Ianto’s discovery of the transdimensional rift-manipulating transmat-capable delivery device in the archives was a godsend."

Okay, I have to thank you especially for this line. It's so... meta hilarious, and a great mouthful, and somehow it tickled me just in the right spot and I laughed harder than I have in weeks. I was rolling over and there were some tears. I'm not exaggerating. ::loves::

"I know things about Jack because I actually listen to him."

Aw, Ianto. This is perfect.

Dress uniforms were aired. Tuxes cleaned. Medals polished. Fur brushed. Trainers de-gummed.

::loves some more::

And the Librarian! Yaaay!

::applauds::

This is absolutely the most awesomesause comment I have ever gotten! *hugs* Glad you liked it so much!! *hugs some more*

Oh, this is marvelous. All your crossover worlds brought together to celebrate the 200th :-) And ya gotta love the concept of an alien artifact that can deliver invitations to the Discworld, which among a whole collection of alternate universes just seems so much more alternate...

Thanks so much! Who knows, maybe the transdimensional rift-manipulating transmat-capable delivery device is one of Leonard of Quirm's inventions? :)

Fantastic! Congratulations on 200!!!

glad you liked it! And thanks :)

Aww! That's lovely :) Congrats to you and Jack!

:) Glad you liked and thanks so much!

Oh, marvelous! So many warm and fuzzy feelings, and then the Oook at the end - priceless. Love it.

:) Glad you liked it! And I love that with one "ook" everyone knows who's talking!

BWAH! I was loving it (even the fandoms I don't know anything about), it was all good, and then you brought in the Librarian! \o/ That's just the cherry on top.

So sweet of the team to arrange a birthday party with so many different people from so many different places (and...times?). This is a great piece for your 200th fic. I don't know how many you'd written when I first started reading your stuff, but I've seen your writing style evolve over time, and now you're not only a great writer but a kick-butt beta-reader, too!

Here's to one...two...many...lots more fics from you!

You're so sweet! Thanks!

Nice. A bit too much J/I for my taste, but luckily we now know that Ianto really knew nothing about Jack, so we have to go with the "little black book" theory instead. Love the different guests. Ducky! Benton & Dief. And of course the Doctor. Very nice. Hopefully Jack got major birthday nookie from one or more of his guests afterwards.

Yes, a bit of J/I, but Tosh is the one who actually kisses him! :)

I figure quite a bit of 'celebrating' went on behind the scenes!

Excellent!

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The Big Event

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TARDIS?

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