donutsweeper: (Default)
donutsweeper ([personal profile] donutsweeper) wrote2007-11-03 12:10 am

I Must Be Strong, and Carry On

Title:  I Must Be Strong, and Carry On
Pairing/Rating/Warning: Jack/Jack, rated G
Word Count: 411
Summary:  Two kindred spirits find each other, just for one night.
Author's Note: Written for the Moving Words and Pictures Flashfic Challenge using [personal profile] matsujo9 's video

The video "Tears in Heaven"

Sometimes it’s hard, fighting for a people not your own; stuck in a strange place, at a strange time, everything familiar yet slightly off.  You can’t make attachments, well, not really.  The team’s off limits, or should be anyway.  And the locals?  You’ve tried, they’re nice and it is expected after all, but you don’t belong here and it just never seems quite right. 

But then you spot him.  A kindred spirit, you can tell right away.  Something about the eyes, a longing you recognize so well.  You see yourself in him; a soldier, doing his duty, no matter the cost, no matter the consequence.  He’s seen too much, endured too much, and despite the front he puts on he seems just as desperate and lost as you. 

You try to tell yourself it’s acceptable to look at him the way you are; to feel the way you do.  But if you can’t quite convince yourself, what hope do you have that he would feel the same way?

And he doesn’t feel the same, does he?  He couldn’t.  Not with the customs, the beliefs of the day.  Your head knows that, it’s your heart that refuses to believe it.

But then there’s the moment on the couch, when your fingers touch.  And it’s like a bolt of electricity shoots straight to your heart.  How is it even possible that this could feel so right?  In the moments after you had to split up you catch your breath and wonder if trusting your gut and overriding your instincts is worth the risk it entails.

You find yourself staring at him.  You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t look away.  Then suddenly, before you even know what’s happening, you’re out on the dance floor.  Together.  He’s in your arms and you’re in his, and just then, for that moment frozen in time, all is right with the world.  You wish you could stay like that forever, but reality crashes down around you. 

You have to say goodbye, to part forever, no matter how much you don’t want to.  So you put everything into that kiss, your wants, your fears, all the things you wished you’d had the chance to say.  He does the same.  Then he is gone, his scent still in the air, the feel of his lips lingering against yours and you are left behind, but perhaps a little less alone than you had been.

Goodbye James, you’ll remember him always.

 

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/ 2007-11-03 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
I'm going to have to stop complaining about second person if people keep doing it this well. *g* First off, you got me with the POV--I thought it was our Jack right up until he left. That's very well-done.

This whole thing is just gorgeous and awesome and made me look at the original Jack Harkness differently. I love it to bits.

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
*blushes mightily* Well, to be fair, it only came about because of [livejournal.com profile] matsujo9's awesome video and your evil prompting... but I'm thrilled you liked it enough to make you rethink original Jack!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/ 2007-11-03 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
The idea that he's an outsider and fighting for people who are not his own just *got* me. I knew that intellectually, I guess, but it never hit me before.

(You know what I'm going to say--if my evil prompting leads to things like this, I'm not going to stop!)

[identity profile] matsujo9.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
Oh it's lovely.

I agree with [livejournal.com profile] _medley_. You picked the perfect perspective and handled it so nicely.

I think this is my favorite line: "He’s seen too much, endured too much and despite the front he puts on he seems just as desperate and lost as you."

[identity profile] matsujo9.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
(Don't stop, don't stop! Enable! Enable!)

*G*

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
I wish I had that bouncing icon to show you how happy I am with your response, but I'll do a happy dance instead!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/ 2007-11-03 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
(Will do. *eg*)

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
It was the way he latched on to TW!Jack being a fellow American and captain, made me wonder if he felt out of place.

I wonder if I should start a journal entry that is just for people to leave me evil prompts and ideas...

[identity profile] pixelism.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Heee! Feel free to yank and credit! (It's in my icon info at matsujo9) I got it from someone else!

We're like a mutual appreciation society tonight!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/ 2007-11-03 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, that makes sense. Good catch, there.

And yeah, make a post so we can coordinate our evil! You could put some date far in the future on it and it'd stay at the top of your journal so we could find it.

[identity profile] fandom-me.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Whoa.

The POV here is fantastic, intimate and close and just perfect. I'm in awe of how well you pulled it off - and that's not even touching the sheer power of the prove and the utter sadness.

Excellent, excellent, job.

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Err, maybe one of these days... when I'm not overwhelmed with things to write. Or if I get bored, so yeah, it'll probably happen soon.

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow, I got a 'whoa'!!! And from you!!! *eg*

I'm so glad the POV worked, 2nd person made me a bit nervous. Thanks!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/ 2007-11-03 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! Isn't it funny how you can go from swamped to bored in about five seconds? I can, anyway.

[identity profile] fandom-me.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
This really, really, is just spectacular! I'm all beaming and weepy at it.

You're welcome! Thank you for posting!

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Happens to me at least 5 times a day! (but I will do something with my [livejournal.com profile] tardis_bigbang piece soon, really I will!)

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
*passes tissue* and *passes donuts*

[identity profile] hellenebright.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 10:42 am (UTC)(link)
This is just excellent - a real example of how and when to use 2nd person. I knew you were playing with which Jack was speakeing, but that made it all the more poigniant, highlighting how similar they were.

(If you would prefer squee as a reaction - SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!)

[identity profile] aeron-lanart.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 10:51 am (UTC)(link)
This is seriously beautiful. I like the way you've made the 2nd person pov work, and the general overtone of the 'not one of us' feeling but the best bit is the end when you realise it's from the other Jack's pov not 'our' Jack's.

[identity profile] chatona.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 11:30 am (UTC)(link)
That was... ouch. It really hurt. But in a good way. And it was gorgeous. *loves*

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
aww, thanks!

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 12:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, I'm thrilled all that came out in this fic. Thanks so much!

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I was thinking that some people would realize who the narrator was, but I'd glad it worked so well for you.
unfeathered: (Jack Honor)

[personal profile] unfeathered 2007-11-03 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Fuck. Just... fuck.

This is gut-wrenchingly perfect. The POV is fantastic, and I adore the way it could be either (or both) of them speaking. I actually thought you were going to leave it unresolved, though I was leaning towards real!Jack simply because our Jack looks even more desolate. :-)

The video is lovely too. I really, really want to watch Torchwood now!

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-11-03 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
ooh, I hadn't thought about leaving it unresolved.. *ponders*

Glad you liked it, but again I apologize for the emotional fallout!

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