I Must Be Strong, and Carry On

[donutsweeper]

Title:  I Must Be Strong, and Carry On
Pairing/Rating/Warning: Jack/Jack, rated G
Word Count: 411
Summary:  Two kindred spirits find each other, just for one night.
Author's Note: Written for the Moving Words and Pictures Flashfic Challenge using matsujo9 's video

The video "Tears in Heaven"

Sometimes it’s hard, fighting for a people not your own; stuck in a strange place, at a strange time, everything familiar yet slightly off.  You can’t make attachments, well, not really.  The team’s off limits, or should be anyway.  And the locals?  You’ve tried, they’re nice and it is expected after all, but you don’t belong here and it just never seems quite right. 

But then you spot him.  A kindred spirit, you can tell right away.  Something about the eyes, a longing you recognize so well.  You see yourself in him; a soldier, doing his duty, no matter the cost, no matter the consequence.  He’s seen too much, endured too much, and despite the front he puts on he seems just as desperate and lost as you. 

You try to tell yourself it’s acceptable to look at him the way you are; to feel the way you do.  But if you can’t quite convince yourself, what hope do you have that he would feel the same way?

And he doesn’t feel the same, does he?  He couldn’t.  Not with the customs, the beliefs of the day.  Your head knows that, it’s your heart that refuses to believe it.

But then there’s the moment on the couch, when your fingers touch.  And it’s like a bolt of electricity shoots straight to your heart.  How is it even possible that this could feel so right?  In the moments after you had to split up you catch your breath and wonder if trusting your gut and overriding your instincts is worth the risk it entails.

You find yourself staring at him.  You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t look away.  Then suddenly, before you even know what’s happening, you’re out on the dance floor.  Together.  He’s in your arms and you’re in his, and just then, for that moment frozen in time, all is right with the world.  You wish you could stay like that forever, but reality crashes down around you. 

You have to say goodbye, to part forever, no matter how much you don’t want to.  So you put everything into that kiss, your wants, your fears, all the things you wished you’d had the chance to say.  He does the same.  Then he is gone, his scent still in the air, the feel of his lips lingering against yours and you are left behind, but perhaps a little less alone than you had been.

Goodbye James, you’ll remember him always.

 

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

I'm going to have to stop complaining about second person if people keep doing it this well. *g* First off, you got me with the POV--I thought it was our Jack right up until he left. That's very well-done.

This whole thing is just gorgeous and awesome and made me look at the original Jack Harkness differently. I love it to bits.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

*blushes mightily* Well, to be fair, it only came about because of matsujo9's awesome video and your evil prompting... but I'm thrilled you liked it enough to make you rethink original Jack!

[matsujo9.livejournal.com]

Oh it's lovely.

I agree with _medley_. You picked the perfect perspective and handled it so nicely.

I think this is my favorite line: "He’s seen too much, endured too much and despite the front he puts on he seems just as desperate and lost as you."

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I wish I had that bouncing icon to show you how happy I am with your response, but I'll do a happy dance instead!

[fandom-me.livejournal.com]

Whoa.

The POV here is fantastic, intimate and close and just perfect. I'm in awe of how well you pulled it off - and that's not even touching the sheer power of the prove and the utter sadness.

Excellent, excellent, job.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I got a 'whoa'!!! And from you!!! *eg*

I'm so glad the POV worked, 2nd person made me a bit nervous. Thanks!

[hellenebright.livejournal.com]

This is just excellent - a real example of how and when to use 2nd person. I knew you were playing with which Jack was speakeing, but that made it all the more poigniant, highlighting how similar they were.

(If you would prefer squee as a reaction - SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!)

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I was thinking that some people would realize who the narrator was, but I'd glad it worked so well for you.

[aeron-lanart.livejournal.com]

This is seriously beautiful. I like the way you've made the 2nd person pov work, and the general overtone of the 'not one of us' feeling but the best bit is the end when you realise it's from the other Jack's pov not 'our' Jack's.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm thrilled all that came out in this fic. Thanks so much!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

That was... ouch. It really hurt. But in a good way. And it was gorgeous. *loves*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

aww, thanks!

[unfeathered]

Fuck. Just... fuck.

This is gut-wrenchingly perfect. The POV is fantastic, and I adore the way it could be either (or both) of them speaking. I actually thought you were going to leave it unresolved, though I was leaning towards real!Jack simply because our Jack looks even more desolate. :-)

The video is lovely too. I really, really want to watch Torchwood now!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

ooh, I hadn't thought about leaving it unresolved.. *ponders*

Glad you liked it, but again I apologize for the emotional fallout!

[rustydog.livejournal.com]

I didn't even notice that this was in 2nd person until I read it a second time. That's a big deal for me - it works very well here.

I didn't remember what name TW Jack used when introducing him self to the Real Jack, so the last line just confused me. I hadn't had a clue it wasn't TW Jack, though "left behind" should have tipped me off a little. Re-reading, I love how it works both ways. Especially "fighting for a people not your own."

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

TW Jack introduced himself as "James Harper" from the 71st.

I'm so glad the 2nd person worked for you, I was a little nervous about it. I don't think I've ever written a fic in the 2nd person before!

[mondeo.livejournal.com]

Yay, someone entered the challenge (technically it's late but I've been a bad mod and not posted the next challenge or the banners yet, so it's all my fault really)

Anyway, this was worth waiting for. It's gorgeous and I love that it's written in 2nd person. It's not easy to pull off but you totally managed it. Great work!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Oops, sorry about it being late! But I'm glad you liked it!

[brittlesmile.livejournal.com]

I'm not normally a fan of second person, but you may have changed my mind. It's lovely and by leaving which Jack it is ambiguous until the end, it really shows the similarities between the two characters, how they just... connect so wonderfully.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Second person is tricky, but I'm glad the fic worked out so well for you. Thanks for commenting!

[laurab1.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's perfect.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

glad you liked it!

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

Poor dear sweet original Jack...

I don't know you start me off giggling like a loon this morning and now you're going to have me in tears ...

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

*turns off laughing gas* sorry, I'm a rather schizophrenic writer. Glad you liked this!

[gauky-1976.livejournal.com]

Writing from the second person is hard (I have tried and failed to do it many times) and if done poorly, is likely to turn readers away from your fic.

I am happy to say that this was brillant and you pulled it off amazingly well.

Bravo and very well done!!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! :)