It looked grim for our lads, with no ammo in sight
The Master was cackling, "Yo, dudes," he said "Right!"
"I've got what I want, you're all in my power,
There's no-one can save you at this dismal hour."

Then up from the lift-shaft came Owen and Gwen
Toshiko, Myfanwy, and Janet, and then
Our Andy, the plod, who was saving the hour
With a bag full of doughnuts of magical power.

They opened the bag, and handed them out
The Master was baffled, but Jack gave a shout.
"Alien doughnuts," he said, "just the thing!"
"These make a party go with a swing."

So they pelted the Master, and Doctor as well
With alien doughnuts, until they did yell
And fall to their knees in a cloud of fine sugar
And that's when they started to kiss one another.

Lovingly wrapped in each other's embrace
They made for the TARDIS at a cracking pace.
Forgetting the contest, the threats to the earth
Thinking only of finding the comfiest berth.

But they heard them exclaim, as they vanished from sight
"Merry alien doughnuts! And to all a good night."