donutsweeper (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
donutsweeper) wrote2007-10-16 11:00 am
donutsweeper) wrote2007-10-16 11:00 am
Entry tags:
A Diamond in the Rough
Title/Series Info: A Diamond in the Rough/ The third in 'The Old Man' universe
Pairing/Rating/Warning: Jack/Doctor, rated NC-17 (contains dub-con), spoilers for "Utopia"
Word Count: 3062
Summary: The Doctor learns more about Jack's life as "Old Man."
Author's Notes: Another beautiful beta job byunfeathered and the darkest yet in this series.
Part One: After years apart, the Doctor finds Jack broken in both body and in spirit.
Part Two: The Doctor tries to help Jack through blissfire withdrawal
Part Three:
Pairing/Rating/Warning: Jack/Doctor, rated NC-17 (contains dub-con), spoilers for "Utopia"
Word Count: 3062
Summary: The Doctor learns more about Jack's life as "Old Man."
Author's Notes: Another beautiful beta job by
unfeathered and the darkest yet in this series.Part One: After years apart, the Doctor finds Jack broken in both body and in spirit.
Part Two: The Doctor tries to help Jack through blissfire withdrawal
Part Three:
And so Jack had made a joke, and the tension dissipated. The Doctor laughed, and hugged Jack tighter, but he couldn’t help noticing the touch of sadness in Jack’s voice. Or avoid seeing how the smile hadn’t quite reached his eyes. Or feel the way Jack was unable to relax in his embrace. All was not forgiven, or forgotten, not yet; he could only hope it was possible that someday it would be.
“Time enough for that later, Jack my boy.” He kept his tone light, trying to force a bravado he didn’t feel. “First things first, how about some food?” It was obvious that Jack was still in withdrawal, trembling at the effort of standing. “Here, sit.” The Doctor guided Jack into a chair, pretending not to notice the way his friend was still clinging to his belongings. “I’ll be back in a jiff with something for you to eat.” And then he applied the sonic screwdriver to the door, forcing it open, and practically fled from the room, desperate to give Jack a chance to get his emotions under control in private.
He returned a short time later with a tray practically groaning with food. “I wasn’t sure what you’d want, or what your stomach could handle, so I brought a little bit of everything.”
Jack had been dozing lightly in the chair and jumped up in surprise at the other man’s entrance. “Doctor!” He spun around, his voice fading as all the color drained from his face, a result of the effort of standing so quickly.
Quickly the Doctor dropped the tray onto the counter and grabbed Jack. “Sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have startled you.” He carefully looked at the other man. Jack hadn’t fainted, but only barely remained conscious. His breathing was far too rapid and shallow, his eyes glassy and unfocused and there was a sheen of sweat covering his body. “Jack?” he called gently. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Jack blinked several times and soon there was a flicker of recognition. “Deep breath. Come on, come back to me.” The flicker deepened as Jack focused on the Doctor and a little of the color returned to his face. “You with me now, Jack?”
There was a slight, wry smile in response.
“Here, sit back down.” The Doctor gently led Jack back to the chair. He crouched down so he could look his friend in the eye. Seeing the flush of embarrassment over the near faint, he wisely decided against mentioning it. “Well, ready for something to eat?
Jack just shrugged. “Not really hungry.” He glanced around the room for a moment. “What tt..time is it?
“Time for you to eat.” The Doctor replied, firmly. He carried the tray over to where Jack sat. “Why does it matter?”
Jack fiddled with a worn spot on his trousers by the knee. “I was just wondering.” He wouldn’t quite meet the Doctor’s eyes. “It’s probably, I mean I think I’m l..late for work.”
“You gave that animal Magiot notice, remember?
The reply was so soft the Doctor had to strain to hear him. “I know, but...”
“No buts, Jack. You’re not going back there. You’re already through the worst of the withdrawal, so no need to ever go back and work for blissfire again. There is no reason to ever go back there.”
“M..maybe I belong there.”
“Jack.” The Doctor gently stroked Jack’s fidgeting hand, trying to ease the other man’s tension. “I told you before. You are not going back there. No one will ever treat you like that again. You’re staying with me till you get well and then we’ll figure out what to do from there. Like I said before, I’m going to take you whereever whenever you want to go. All right?”
“It’s just,” he had started picking at the trousers leg again, a small hole began to appear, “I knew who I was there. What I was.”
The Doctor sat back on his haunches. “And I know who you are in here.” He reached out to tap Jack’s chest, a feather light touch against Jack’s heart.
“You haven’t known me fffor a long time.”
“When I found you, at the height of the London Blitz, you were a diamond in the rough. A con man trying to hide his heroic nature. Rose took to you right away. She saw it shining in you, and eventually I did as well. I know it’s been years, but a diamond is still a diamond, no matter how dull it’s become or hidden it might be.”
“But under enough pressure even a dd..diamond will turn to dust.” There was a finality to his tone. “I’m not a hero anymore, Doctor.”
“Well, hero or not, you have to eat.” The Doctor gently chided. “Now don’t tell me you aren’t hungry. You haven’t had anything to eat but that bit of bread and a bowl of soup all day. Besides, I pulled together some things you probably haven’t had in awhile.” He held a steaming mug under Jack’s nose. “Tell me, when’s the last time you had a really good cup of coffee?”
The Doctor nearly laughed as he saw the light shining in Jack’s eyes when he smelled the coffee, but the laughter died in his throat when he noticed the tremors Jack couldn’t quite hide as he reached for the cup. He waited to release it until Jack had a firm grip, both hands wrapped securely around the mug. But Jack didn’t take a sip, he just held it.
“You can drink that, you know. Unless, is the nausea back? The medication in the patch shouldn’t have worn off yet, or at least I don’t think it should have, maybe I got the dosage wrong?”
“No, no, the nausea’s not that bad. I just...” he shrugged and leaned over the mug, slumping his shoulders and inhaling the aroma. “This is coffee. R..real coffee.” There was a level of child-like wonder, tempered with surprise in his voice. “You made coffee? For me?”
“Of course I did, you dolt. I know how much you love the stuff.” He reached out slowly, deliberately telegraphing his movements, and tussled Jack’s hair. The Doctor allowed himself a smile when Jack barely stiffened at the touch, and didn’t flinch at all. His smile deepened as he watched his friend drink the coffee. Jack seemed to be enjoying it on the level of a religious experience. “There’s food too.” The TARDIS medical archives had provided suggestions for foods to give to someone in withdrawal, but not knowing what the other man’s favorites might be anymore he’d brought nearly everything on the list. “There’s soup and crackers and bread and a bunch of different fruits, steamed conthala, some of that noodle dish you always liked, and... actually I don’t remember what this is, but I’m sure you’ll love it.” Realizing Jack wasn’t paying him the least bit of attention he trailed off. “Jack?”
The voice was barely above a whisper. “You made coffee for me.”
“Well, yes.” the Doctor said, uncertainly. “I already told you that.”
“I know.” Jack gave a slight half-smile. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing.” Pulling over a chair, the Doctor perched on the edge of it, leaning so far forward he was practically in Jack’s face. “What’s bothering you? Tell me. Please.”
“I yelled at you.” Jack was absentmindedly swirling the coffee as he spoke. “I’m sorry I got so angry ww..when you were looking at my stuff. You’re trying to help me and I yelled at you.”
“You had every right.” The Doctor cupped Jack’s chin and lifted his face until blue eyes met brown. “I should not have gone into your things. I was wrong. You have nothing to apologize for. Now eat something!”
“Yes, sir.” Jack said, with slightly a teasing tone, which was wonderful to hear, and began idly picking at the food on the tray. He was not really eating with any gusto or enthusiasm, but at least he was eating and that was a start.
The Doctor fidgeted, a million questions swirled in his head, but given his friend’s precarious state he didn’t want to risk upsetting the other man. He waited, not very patiently, until Jack lost interest in the food. “That Nell is quite the spitfire,” he began, hoping he’d chosen a safe topic. “She nearly bit my head off when I first asked about you, thinking I was one of Magiot’s men.”
“Spitfire, yeah that’s a gggood word for her. Took after her grandmother in that way. You would have liked Aldith, reminded me of Martha a lot.”
Picking up the tray, still mostly covered with food, the Doctor moved it onto the counter and out of the way. “Martha? How so?”
“She had a strength to her. If there was a task that needed doing she’d just off and do it, no complaining, no dd..d..debate, just did what needed to get done.”
The Doctor smiled. “That does sound like Martha. You know, Gunther mentioned his mother briefly, said she was the one who gave you the name ‘Old Man.’ It sounded like the whole family was quite fond of you.” Gunther had also told the Doctor how Jack had been emotionally devastated when he’d come to town and never quite emerged from the shell he’d erected around himself, but the Doctor didn’t think now was the right time to mention it. It would probably never be that time.
Jack ducked his head slightly. “You asked them about me?”
“It was a bit of an invasion of privacy on my part, I know. But I...”
“But you’re you.” Jack said, with a tone of voice that was both tolerant and slightly amused.
“Yeah, I’m me.” The Doctor smiled. “Are you angry?”
“No. I guess I expected it. Would have been ss..surprised if you didn’t.”
“What was Gunther’s father like?”
“Jonas? A big man, kind of quiet. Not as quiet as me though. We could work together in the tavern for hours and not need to say a word to each other.” He saw the Doctor shaking his head and cocked an eyebrow in response. “You c..can’t picture me as quiet, can you?”
“It is a bit of a stretch, Jack. You were always talking, flirting, joking around, telling stories, flirting, did I mention flirting? If it breathed, you flirted with it.”
Jack sighed. “I’m not that person anymore.”
“But that’s like a leopard changing its spots.” The Doctor finally let his frustration show. “It’s who you are!”
“It’s w..who I was. Given enough time a mountain will becomes a molehill. Even the brightest star eventually burns out. You, of all people, should know that.” Jack began rubbing the worn spot on the knee of his trousers again, picking at the hole as it grew larger.
“You know Rose would slap you for saying that. I bet Aldith would too.”
Jack looked up quickly, his momentary self-depreciation forgotten. “What?”
“When we first met you were a con man, right? As deep as a puddle with about as much substance too, or so I thought. But when it came right down to it you snatched up that bomb to save us. Oh sure you joked about it just being for Rose’s t-shirt...”
“Hey, that was some shirt!”
“Yes, it was.” The Doctor smiled wistfully. “My point is that you had no way of knowing I’d get you off your ship before the bomb blew, did you? You were prepared to die, you expected to die.”
“Wouldn’t have initiated emergency protocol four-one-seven otherwise.”
“Hmm?” The Doctor asked, thrown off track and confused.
“The drink. One last drink before...” His hands spread out as if miming an explosion.
“Oh, right. Getting back to what I was saying, you are a hero Jack. You saved all those people at the railway station, taking the bomb on your ship even though you knew it was probably going to kill you.”
“That was a long time ago, Doctor. Like I said, I’ve changed.”
“No you haven’t. Tell me, why did you start working for Magiot?”
Jack refused to meet the Doctor’s gaze, still working the hole in the trousers. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” The Doctor prodded. “You didn’t just up and decide to be a prostitute when you woke up one morning, did you Jack? And you certainly didn’t feel the need to go off and experiment with blissfire to pass the time. Gunther and Nell told me what happened.”
Jack pushed himself out of the chair, trying to get away. “No.”
“No, what? No, that’s not what happened?” The Doctor pressed forward, blocking his path to the door. “The plague didn’t come and take Aldith and Jonas, people you’d come to think of as family? And Gunther wasn’t left caring for his sick daughter while you tried everything you could to keep a roof over their heads?”
“Tried and failed.” Jack tried to push past, to get out of the medical bay.
“You did what you had to do. You sacrificed yourself, you signed away your own happiness and life to provide for Gunther and Nell’s. Only a hero would do that Jack.”
“But the bb..blissfire...”
“You did what you had to do. It was a five year contract, yes? If the only way to complete it was to start to use blissfire than what are you beating yourself up for?”
“You weren’t here.” Jack turned away, unable to face the Doctor. “You don’t know, what I did, what they did to me there.”
“No, you’re right. I wasn’t there. And I should have been. I should never have stayed away so long, never should have let you get so far away from me. I’m sorry, Jack. I suppose you had every right to give up on me.”
“What? I didn’t. W...why would you... I don’t understand.” He stopped, confused. “Why do you assume I gave up on you?”
Jack was still standing facing away from the Doctor, leaning lightly against the examination table. The Doctor was glad his old friend wasn’t looking into his eyes; he knew he couldn’t hide the sadness in them as he explained, “Your key. If you’d expected me to come back into your life at some point you would have kept your TARDIS key.”
“Oh. It’s not like that. I didn’t, I never gave... I... I lied, Doctor.” Jack took a deep breath and held it, turning around, but refusing to make eye contact.
“Lied?” The Doctor asked, now completely and utterly confused himself. “About what?”
“I still have it.”
“Sorry, have what? Jack, I don’t quite follow.”
He spoke so quietly the Doctor had to strain to hear him. “My key. My TARDIS key. I ss..still have it.”
Hope and joy bubbled up within the Doctor’s chest. “You do?”
“Yeah.” Jack looked away shyly. “I just c..couldn’t... I didn’t want to let it go. To let you go. I didn’t admit it before, because, well, it seemed so childish.”
“Oh Jack!” He swept Jack into a tight embrace, one that Jack returned, just as fiercely and completely. The Doctor couldn’t be any happier, for the first time since he laid eyes upon his old friend things felt like they were finally back to where they should be, all that had come between them was gone now.
As Jack clung to him the Doctor took a deep breath, drinking in the familiar aroma of the other man. The Doctor smiled as Jack snuggled in and placed a whispered kiss against his bare neck. Sensations and desires long buried bubbled to the surface and the Doctor found himself barely able to control himself as he slipped his hand under Jack’s shirt to stroke his back. He pulled him even closer, tasting and touching, reacquainting himself with every inch, every aspect of his former lover’s body, which was so achingly familiar it was like they had never spent all those years apart. Oh, how he’d missed this! But there were so many clothes in the way! In a fervor, he frustratedly tore at the collar of Jack’s shirt, barely registering when it ripped and fluttered in pieces to the ground.
He pressed Jack up against him, exploring, relearning his way. From the strong shoulders down to the firm nipples, a detour to those tight abs- he needed to slip the trousers out of the way to get to them all, but the abs were tighter and tastier than ever. God, what had he been thinking staying away from Jack all these years? In one fluid movement he pushed Jack face down onto the infirmary bed behind them. Within seconds he had stripped off his own clothing and grabbed some lube. Then he climbed on the bed, his weight pinning Jack down. Need and desire overwrote everything as he nipped playfully at Jack’s neck and slipped one and then two fingers into Jack, paused only long enough to see to the necessities and then, utterly lost in the moment, began to thrust, hard and sure, in the merciless manner they both used to enjoy so much.
It was only after he had come, after the haze cleared, that he realized exactly what he had done. And what Jack hadn’t done. Jack hadn’t called out his name, hadn’t moaned, hadn’t gasped in pleasure. The entire time Jack had lain completely still, his pants still pooled at his ankles; fists having grabbed the sheet so hard his knuckles had turned a ghostly white. Now, now that it was far too late, the Doctor noticed the red scratch marks he’d made on Jack’s back and the finger shaped bruises that were just starting to appear on the hips, and how similar they were to the injuries he’d seen earlier. But worst of all was the tight line of the mouth and the way the other man’s eyes were squeezed shut, with a single tear running down his cheek.
“Oh damn it, Jack. I am so sorry. We used to... I... I didn’t think... I wasn’t thinking, well not with my head anyway. Oh God... What have I... Jack? I don’t know what... I mean.... You know I... Oh, Jack... I’m sorry. I am so sorry. Jack?”
There was no response whatsoever from the man on the bed. The Doctor bit his lip.
“Jack?”
Part Four
“Time enough for that later, Jack my boy.” He kept his tone light, trying to force a bravado he didn’t feel. “First things first, how about some food?” It was obvious that Jack was still in withdrawal, trembling at the effort of standing. “Here, sit.” The Doctor guided Jack into a chair, pretending not to notice the way his friend was still clinging to his belongings. “I’ll be back in a jiff with something for you to eat.” And then he applied the sonic screwdriver to the door, forcing it open, and practically fled from the room, desperate to give Jack a chance to get his emotions under control in private.
He returned a short time later with a tray practically groaning with food. “I wasn’t sure what you’d want, or what your stomach could handle, so I brought a little bit of everything.”
Jack had been dozing lightly in the chair and jumped up in surprise at the other man’s entrance. “Doctor!” He spun around, his voice fading as all the color drained from his face, a result of the effort of standing so quickly.
Quickly the Doctor dropped the tray onto the counter and grabbed Jack. “Sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have startled you.” He carefully looked at the other man. Jack hadn’t fainted, but only barely remained conscious. His breathing was far too rapid and shallow, his eyes glassy and unfocused and there was a sheen of sweat covering his body. “Jack?” he called gently. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Jack blinked several times and soon there was a flicker of recognition. “Deep breath. Come on, come back to me.” The flicker deepened as Jack focused on the Doctor and a little of the color returned to his face. “You with me now, Jack?”
There was a slight, wry smile in response.
“Here, sit back down.” The Doctor gently led Jack back to the chair. He crouched down so he could look his friend in the eye. Seeing the flush of embarrassment over the near faint, he wisely decided against mentioning it. “Well, ready for something to eat?
Jack just shrugged. “Not really hungry.” He glanced around the room for a moment. “What tt..time is it?
“Time for you to eat.” The Doctor replied, firmly. He carried the tray over to where Jack sat. “Why does it matter?”
Jack fiddled with a worn spot on his trousers by the knee. “I was just wondering.” He wouldn’t quite meet the Doctor’s eyes. “It’s probably, I mean I think I’m l..late for work.”
“You gave that animal Magiot notice, remember?
The reply was so soft the Doctor had to strain to hear him. “I know, but...”
“No buts, Jack. You’re not going back there. You’re already through the worst of the withdrawal, so no need to ever go back and work for blissfire again. There is no reason to ever go back there.”
“M..maybe I belong there.”
“Jack.” The Doctor gently stroked Jack’s fidgeting hand, trying to ease the other man’s tension. “I told you before. You are not going back there. No one will ever treat you like that again. You’re staying with me till you get well and then we’ll figure out what to do from there. Like I said before, I’m going to take you whereever whenever you want to go. All right?”
“It’s just,” he had started picking at the trousers leg again, a small hole began to appear, “I knew who I was there. What I was.”
The Doctor sat back on his haunches. “And I know who you are in here.” He reached out to tap Jack’s chest, a feather light touch against Jack’s heart.
“You haven’t known me fffor a long time.”
“When I found you, at the height of the London Blitz, you were a diamond in the rough. A con man trying to hide his heroic nature. Rose took to you right away. She saw it shining in you, and eventually I did as well. I know it’s been years, but a diamond is still a diamond, no matter how dull it’s become or hidden it might be.”
“But under enough pressure even a dd..diamond will turn to dust.” There was a finality to his tone. “I’m not a hero anymore, Doctor.”
“Well, hero or not, you have to eat.” The Doctor gently chided. “Now don’t tell me you aren’t hungry. You haven’t had anything to eat but that bit of bread and a bowl of soup all day. Besides, I pulled together some things you probably haven’t had in awhile.” He held a steaming mug under Jack’s nose. “Tell me, when’s the last time you had a really good cup of coffee?”
The Doctor nearly laughed as he saw the light shining in Jack’s eyes when he smelled the coffee, but the laughter died in his throat when he noticed the tremors Jack couldn’t quite hide as he reached for the cup. He waited to release it until Jack had a firm grip, both hands wrapped securely around the mug. But Jack didn’t take a sip, he just held it.
“You can drink that, you know. Unless, is the nausea back? The medication in the patch shouldn’t have worn off yet, or at least I don’t think it should have, maybe I got the dosage wrong?”
“No, no, the nausea’s not that bad. I just...” he shrugged and leaned over the mug, slumping his shoulders and inhaling the aroma. “This is coffee. R..real coffee.” There was a level of child-like wonder, tempered with surprise in his voice. “You made coffee? For me?”
“Of course I did, you dolt. I know how much you love the stuff.” He reached out slowly, deliberately telegraphing his movements, and tussled Jack’s hair. The Doctor allowed himself a smile when Jack barely stiffened at the touch, and didn’t flinch at all. His smile deepened as he watched his friend drink the coffee. Jack seemed to be enjoying it on the level of a religious experience. “There’s food too.” The TARDIS medical archives had provided suggestions for foods to give to someone in withdrawal, but not knowing what the other man’s favorites might be anymore he’d brought nearly everything on the list. “There’s soup and crackers and bread and a bunch of different fruits, steamed conthala, some of that noodle dish you always liked, and... actually I don’t remember what this is, but I’m sure you’ll love it.” Realizing Jack wasn’t paying him the least bit of attention he trailed off. “Jack?”
The voice was barely above a whisper. “You made coffee for me.”
“Well, yes.” the Doctor said, uncertainly. “I already told you that.”
“I know.” Jack gave a slight half-smile. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing.” Pulling over a chair, the Doctor perched on the edge of it, leaning so far forward he was practically in Jack’s face. “What’s bothering you? Tell me. Please.”
“I yelled at you.” Jack was absentmindedly swirling the coffee as he spoke. “I’m sorry I got so angry ww..when you were looking at my stuff. You’re trying to help me and I yelled at you.”
“You had every right.” The Doctor cupped Jack’s chin and lifted his face until blue eyes met brown. “I should not have gone into your things. I was wrong. You have nothing to apologize for. Now eat something!”
“Yes, sir.” Jack said, with slightly a teasing tone, which was wonderful to hear, and began idly picking at the food on the tray. He was not really eating with any gusto or enthusiasm, but at least he was eating and that was a start.
The Doctor fidgeted, a million questions swirled in his head, but given his friend’s precarious state he didn’t want to risk upsetting the other man. He waited, not very patiently, until Jack lost interest in the food. “That Nell is quite the spitfire,” he began, hoping he’d chosen a safe topic. “She nearly bit my head off when I first asked about you, thinking I was one of Magiot’s men.”
“Spitfire, yeah that’s a gggood word for her. Took after her grandmother in that way. You would have liked Aldith, reminded me of Martha a lot.”
Picking up the tray, still mostly covered with food, the Doctor moved it onto the counter and out of the way. “Martha? How so?”
“She had a strength to her. If there was a task that needed doing she’d just off and do it, no complaining, no dd..d..debate, just did what needed to get done.”
The Doctor smiled. “That does sound like Martha. You know, Gunther mentioned his mother briefly, said she was the one who gave you the name ‘Old Man.’ It sounded like the whole family was quite fond of you.” Gunther had also told the Doctor how Jack had been emotionally devastated when he’d come to town and never quite emerged from the shell he’d erected around himself, but the Doctor didn’t think now was the right time to mention it. It would probably never be that time.
Jack ducked his head slightly. “You asked them about me?”
“It was a bit of an invasion of privacy on my part, I know. But I...”
“But you’re you.” Jack said, with a tone of voice that was both tolerant and slightly amused.
“Yeah, I’m me.” The Doctor smiled. “Are you angry?”
“No. I guess I expected it. Would have been ss..surprised if you didn’t.”
“What was Gunther’s father like?”
“Jonas? A big man, kind of quiet. Not as quiet as me though. We could work together in the tavern for hours and not need to say a word to each other.” He saw the Doctor shaking his head and cocked an eyebrow in response. “You c..can’t picture me as quiet, can you?”
“It is a bit of a stretch, Jack. You were always talking, flirting, joking around, telling stories, flirting, did I mention flirting? If it breathed, you flirted with it.”
Jack sighed. “I’m not that person anymore.”
“But that’s like a leopard changing its spots.” The Doctor finally let his frustration show. “It’s who you are!”
“It’s w..who I was. Given enough time a mountain will becomes a molehill. Even the brightest star eventually burns out. You, of all people, should know that.” Jack began rubbing the worn spot on the knee of his trousers again, picking at the hole as it grew larger.
“You know Rose would slap you for saying that. I bet Aldith would too.”
Jack looked up quickly, his momentary self-depreciation forgotten. “What?”
“When we first met you were a con man, right? As deep as a puddle with about as much substance too, or so I thought. But when it came right down to it you snatched up that bomb to save us. Oh sure you joked about it just being for Rose’s t-shirt...”
“Hey, that was some shirt!”
“Yes, it was.” The Doctor smiled wistfully. “My point is that you had no way of knowing I’d get you off your ship before the bomb blew, did you? You were prepared to die, you expected to die.”
“Wouldn’t have initiated emergency protocol four-one-seven otherwise.”
“Hmm?” The Doctor asked, thrown off track and confused.
“The drink. One last drink before...” His hands spread out as if miming an explosion.
“Oh, right. Getting back to what I was saying, you are a hero Jack. You saved all those people at the railway station, taking the bomb on your ship even though you knew it was probably going to kill you.”
“That was a long time ago, Doctor. Like I said, I’ve changed.”
“No you haven’t. Tell me, why did you start working for Magiot?”
Jack refused to meet the Doctor’s gaze, still working the hole in the trousers. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” The Doctor prodded. “You didn’t just up and decide to be a prostitute when you woke up one morning, did you Jack? And you certainly didn’t feel the need to go off and experiment with blissfire to pass the time. Gunther and Nell told me what happened.”
Jack pushed himself out of the chair, trying to get away. “No.”
“No, what? No, that’s not what happened?” The Doctor pressed forward, blocking his path to the door. “The plague didn’t come and take Aldith and Jonas, people you’d come to think of as family? And Gunther wasn’t left caring for his sick daughter while you tried everything you could to keep a roof over their heads?”
“Tried and failed.” Jack tried to push past, to get out of the medical bay.
“You did what you had to do. You sacrificed yourself, you signed away your own happiness and life to provide for Gunther and Nell’s. Only a hero would do that Jack.”
“But the bb..blissfire...”
“You did what you had to do. It was a five year contract, yes? If the only way to complete it was to start to use blissfire than what are you beating yourself up for?”
“You weren’t here.” Jack turned away, unable to face the Doctor. “You don’t know, what I did, what they did to me there.”
“No, you’re right. I wasn’t there. And I should have been. I should never have stayed away so long, never should have let you get so far away from me. I’m sorry, Jack. I suppose you had every right to give up on me.”
“What? I didn’t. W...why would you... I don’t understand.” He stopped, confused. “Why do you assume I gave up on you?”
Jack was still standing facing away from the Doctor, leaning lightly against the examination table. The Doctor was glad his old friend wasn’t looking into his eyes; he knew he couldn’t hide the sadness in them as he explained, “Your key. If you’d expected me to come back into your life at some point you would have kept your TARDIS key.”
“Oh. It’s not like that. I didn’t, I never gave... I... I lied, Doctor.” Jack took a deep breath and held it, turning around, but refusing to make eye contact.
“Lied?” The Doctor asked, now completely and utterly confused himself. “About what?”
“I still have it.”
“Sorry, have what? Jack, I don’t quite follow.”
He spoke so quietly the Doctor had to strain to hear him. “My key. My TARDIS key. I ss..still have it.”
Hope and joy bubbled up within the Doctor’s chest. “You do?”
“Yeah.” Jack looked away shyly. “I just c..couldn’t... I didn’t want to let it go. To let you go. I didn’t admit it before, because, well, it seemed so childish.”
“Oh Jack!” He swept Jack into a tight embrace, one that Jack returned, just as fiercely and completely. The Doctor couldn’t be any happier, for the first time since he laid eyes upon his old friend things felt like they were finally back to where they should be, all that had come between them was gone now.
As Jack clung to him the Doctor took a deep breath, drinking in the familiar aroma of the other man. The Doctor smiled as Jack snuggled in and placed a whispered kiss against his bare neck. Sensations and desires long buried bubbled to the surface and the Doctor found himself barely able to control himself as he slipped his hand under Jack’s shirt to stroke his back. He pulled him even closer, tasting and touching, reacquainting himself with every inch, every aspect of his former lover’s body, which was so achingly familiar it was like they had never spent all those years apart. Oh, how he’d missed this! But there were so many clothes in the way! In a fervor, he frustratedly tore at the collar of Jack’s shirt, barely registering when it ripped and fluttered in pieces to the ground.
He pressed Jack up against him, exploring, relearning his way. From the strong shoulders down to the firm nipples, a detour to those tight abs- he needed to slip the trousers out of the way to get to them all, but the abs were tighter and tastier than ever. God, what had he been thinking staying away from Jack all these years? In one fluid movement he pushed Jack face down onto the infirmary bed behind them. Within seconds he had stripped off his own clothing and grabbed some lube. Then he climbed on the bed, his weight pinning Jack down. Need and desire overwrote everything as he nipped playfully at Jack’s neck and slipped one and then two fingers into Jack, paused only long enough to see to the necessities and then, utterly lost in the moment, began to thrust, hard and sure, in the merciless manner they both used to enjoy so much.
It was only after he had come, after the haze cleared, that he realized exactly what he had done. And what Jack hadn’t done. Jack hadn’t called out his name, hadn’t moaned, hadn’t gasped in pleasure. The entire time Jack had lain completely still, his pants still pooled at his ankles; fists having grabbed the sheet so hard his knuckles had turned a ghostly white. Now, now that it was far too late, the Doctor noticed the red scratch marks he’d made on Jack’s back and the finger shaped bruises that were just starting to appear on the hips, and how similar they were to the injuries he’d seen earlier. But worst of all was the tight line of the mouth and the way the other man’s eyes were squeezed shut, with a single tear running down his cheek.
“Oh damn it, Jack. I am so sorry. We used to... I... I didn’t think... I wasn’t thinking, well not with my head anyway. Oh God... What have I... Jack? I don’t know what... I mean.... You know I... Oh, Jack... I’m sorry. I am so sorry. Jack?”
There was no response whatsoever from the man on the bed. The Doctor bit his lip.
“Jack?”
Part Four
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Well, it had to happen quick enough that he didn't engage his brain or remotely consider the consequences. Jack hugged him, gave him a light kiss and common sense went out the window.
Originally this was supposed to be only one story (the original 'Old Man') but part two just flew out and sucked me in... I struggled a bit with part three (it was suffering a bit from the 'no longer shiny and new' syndrome) and now part four's slow going. So many other 'ooh, shiny' things out there...
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I often wonder if this is why I tend to only write drabbles or ficlets - I'm too easily distracted by the next prompt that comes my way and need to just get stuff *finished* (yesterday for preference) so I can move on.
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I signed up for the tardis_bigbang in a moment of weakness and the idea of 20k is freaking me out completely.
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I'm sure you'll do fine :)
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