donutsweeper | The Bride Wore Black

Title: The Bride Wore Black
Pairing/Rating/Warning: None, rated G
Word Count: 274
Summary: Jack swore this would be the last time he drank hypervodkas. The very last time. Owen was never going to let him live it down.
Author's Note: Written from

phoenix64 's title prompt for my most recent writing meme. This probably needs a 'no liquids' warning. Un-beta'ed.

As far as diplomatic missions went this one had been a doozy. Banquet after banquet of never ending food. Gorgeous blue skinned women who hung on his every word. And alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Jack had never had a problem imbibing before - in fact he’d once won a drinking game against the Grand High Viser of the Summit Mountain Ultraism Terrorist Society, who went by the unfortunate (yet oddly accurate) acronym SMUTS, resulting in the lowering of their arms, among other things - so when the hypervodka was brought out he thought nothing of partaking in a shot or two. It would have been offensive to their hosts if he didn’t, or that’s what he told himself anyway. And if the negotiations had to wait until after the drinks were finished, then who was he to argue?

Of course, looking back on it now, maybe he hadn’t been at his peak form when it came time to sign on the dotted line. Or, to be completely precise, swap spit in the ceremonial chalice. He’d been confident he knew what they’d agreed upon. Fairly confident. Maybe a little confused by some of the more flowery terms in the paperwork, but he knew the makings of a sound treaty when he set one up. So a few minor details slipped past him. That sort of thing was bound to happen, eventually.

Besides, it could have been worse, he thought as he adjusted the tight ceremonial corset. Owen had been drafted to stand up for him, and pink taffeta did nothing for that man’s eyes. Black, on the other hand, was slimming, and had always been his color.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Bwahahaha!

I have to say, I was not amused by it at the time

Well, it was a donut. I probably wouldn't be, either.

I had this cat once who stoled an unlit cigarette right out of my brother's mouth. I haven't laugh that hard in awhile.

a cigarette? Weirdness.

Mine is still nuts for donuts. He'll beg anytime he sees a bakery bag

He was holding her and dangling the cigarette from his mouth. I thought her move a rather logical one for a cat...and damned funny.

That is one awesome cat.

Do your cats beg? Mine gets up on his hind legs and begs like a dog would.

Mine will either: a) sit down by you, go all "puppy dog" eyed, tilt his head to one side, and mew pitifully; or b) casually stretch one paw up and "accidentally" dig his claws into you. It's either beg or "persuade" with him.

oh, I'm familiar with that 'accidential' clawing as well. Mine will actually "roo" up like a dog or kangaroo and try to get to table height (he's a BIG cat)hoping to be fed scraps

Cats. They're so inventive.

also, that way, he's closer to the table and that plate which hopefully has something tasty and snaggable on it

Mine used to try this thing where he'd jump up into my lap and try to bump the plate and/or silverware with his tail. I quickly put him off this idea.

sneaky little buggers. Mine isn't allowed on the table. Or to take something off the table... but if it falls? it's fair game

My aunt actually let mine eat off the kitchen counter for awhile. It took awhile to cure him of this habit.

oooh- dangerous precedent to have set. I'm surprised you were able to unteach him that

I think my dad probably helped a lot with that one...and the general clutter of my counter and my parents' counter didn't hurt.

I'm glad my cat's too lazy to consider jumping onto counters or tables something he'd want to do.

Hee. That's always useful.

he's 15 some odd pounds of lazy lumpitude

We used to have this enormous 20 pound cat who would just opt for laying on your chest while you tried to sleep instead of actually working for anything. It's a rather effective blackmail method, cutting off your owner's air supply.