My Life is a Dilbert Cartoon

[donutsweeper]

I spent the last hour and a half or so taking tickets for an event that had no tickets issued for it.

Yep, I sat there because I was assigned to take tickets even though there WERE NO TICKETS.

How does something like that happen you ask?  Well, the work assignments for the annual meeting are drawn up every ten years and assigned by job title.  So, as Assistant Membership Director, I collect tickets.  As it happens the decision was made to quit printing tickets seven years ago, but that minor detail hasn't affected the duty roster yet.  Why?  Because they only rewrite and reassign jobs for the annual meeting every ten years because (as my boss said when I asked her about it) "that's the way it's always been done."

*blinks*

Gotta love corporate logic.

Comments

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*blinkblink* It sounds like you're actually in the Matrix. Just try realise the truth - there are no tickets...

*giggle* There is no level on which that makes sense. Brilliant. In an annoying kind of way, but still. I didn't realise these things happened in real life...

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Oh thank god, a voice of semi-sanity! It's not just me! My boss couldn't figure out why I thought the whole thing was silly!

[smithy161.livejournal.com]

That's the way it's always been done

Sounds like a woman who needs to read a few Discworld books. How silly.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

even sillier is that there were actual jobs assigned to positions that no longer exist so there was no one to do them.

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that makes so much sense *nods*

[smithy161.livejournal.com]

*Laughs* mental. Utterly mental. Can you gather some people and explain to your boss why it makes no sense?

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

uh-oh, corporate logic is starting to make sense to you? RUN! Now! while you still have the chance!

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

What did she think you were doing for all that time? Did she expect to receive the collection of non-tickets at the end?

Oh, please tell me she did! That's just too good...

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

the thing is I even offered to do one of those jobs, but was told no. I take tickets. That's it. It didn't matter that there were no tickets to take.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I sat at a small table with the ticket box where I was to put the nonexistent tickets. I handed the box back in after the meeting was over, I don't know if she checked it for tickets or not. I hope not

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I forgot. I shoulda used this icon instead :D

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I still recommend running for it while you have a chance. The corporate world is well known for draining one's sanity and lowering their IQ points

[chatona.livejournal.com]

I will keep it in mind *nods gravely*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

smart, smart girl. I felt my IQ lower just trying to explain to my boss why it might make more sense for me to do one of the jobs assigned to a position that no longer existed so there was no one to do the job than for me to sit there and collect the nonexistent tickets

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do! I hope she has a book somewhere that she has to note the contents of the box in. Because otherwise it's just not funny enough... :D

[smithy161.livejournal.com]

I have to meet your boss one day. She sounds... singular.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

just to satisfy my curiosity I checked her tally sheets folder (on our shared computer). Yes, there is a tally for the number of tickets sold and collected each year, with a "zero" listed in both columns for the past 7 years. why keep up the tally when there ARE NO BLOODY TICKETS SOLD?!?! *takes deep breath*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

yeah, that's one word for it

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing*

Sorry, hon - I probably shouldn't find this as funny as I do - but it takes a particular kind of 'genius' to do that kind of thing...

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing too. It's either laugh or pull out my hair so I think laughing's a good option.

I think I will be treating myself to a very expensive frozen coffee drink shortly though, because, after a day like this, I deserve it.

[aeron-lanart.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the bloody NHS.

Never mind taking the biscuit, I think someone's stolen the whole flaming factory!

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

As long as you're laughing too - it really is one of those things where you have to just say "this makes no sense" and give up on it. And laugh.

Enjoy your coffee! You definitely deserve it :)

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

So there are more places like this out there? *sigh*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

*DIES* Oh, that's just...I don't know what. I'm sure you did an excellent job collecting no tickets. o.O

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

last year (when the same thing happened) I spent the whole day grumbly and annoyed, this year I vented to all of you and found the ability to laugh at it.

Thanks!