Forced Forgiveness

[donutsweeper]

Title: Forced Forgiveness
Pairing/Rating/Warning: NCIS fandom, Gibbs/DiNozzo,  spoilers for "Hiatus", rated R
Word Count: 200
Summary:  DiNozzo is going to forgive Gibbs, no matter what.  Gibbs will make sure of that.
Author's Note: Written for the slashthedrabble challenge, forgiven

I admit it.  I screwed up.  I quit, probably in the gruffest, most painful way possible.  I said “You’ll do,” handed him my badge and gun and left him standing there, looking like I’d just punched him in the gut.

I should have said goodbye.  I should have said thank you.  I should have told him he was a good agent, that he was my friend, my lover and given him the respect and trust he always gave me.

But I didn’t.

I’m back now, but he doesn’t look at me way that he used to.  His eyes are cold and distant, his tone clipped and careful.  He acts like there was never anything between us but the job.  Every interaction is terribly professional now.  And I can’t find the words to make things right.

But I was never one for words. 

So I fall back to what I am good at.  Actions.  I’ll make him understand why I did what I did.  And why he needs to forgive me.  I look down at him; naked and tied to the bed, the sleeping pill I slipped him starting to wear off.  It’ll take some work, but he’ll be mine again.

Comments

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know about dyslexia. A childhood friend of mine had it and my mum sat me down and explained it to me when I was... six or so?

The best way to learn a language is to live in the country. Cultural immersion, that whole thing. For me, I guess it's always been easiest to read fanfiction in the language. Gave me a feel for the language and all that. It's pretty much how I actually got good at English.

Spent eight months in Dublin. Not England, but geographically close *grins*

Yeah, it's probably a bit... impossible. But it's not like I'm going to be terribly depressed if I can't manage and this way, I'll at least have some sort of goal in life :D

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

considering your already firmly bilingual becoming tri shouldn't be too much of a stretch. Then you need to look at languages that are similar to each other or related somehow... or start hopping the globe- spend a semester in Wales then paris, then madrid...

[chatona.livejournal.com]

I'll probably learn Dutch and Swedish at some point. Those are very close to German. I can already understand Dutch most of the time when it's written or spoken very slowly, so learning that shouldn't be much of a problem. And I hear Swedish is rather easy, anyway.

I'm definitely going to travel and spend as much time in other countries as I possibly can :D I love travelling anyway. University should give me the possibility *beams*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

You could probably easily master Yiddish too, but it's a fairly dying language.

Do you think you'll go to university out of Germany, then?

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Well, for now, the plan is to start studying in Germany, squeeze in as many semesters in other countries as I can and after my first Staatsexamen (state exam, one of two exams which law students have to take before they get something that'd be about the same level of a Masters in law, I think) go somewhere else and do a Masters in Law (I sort of want to go to Stanford University, but I doubt they'll take me and I don't even know if I have that kind of money, but I can always try, right?) and then go back and do the second state exam. And then it's fair game, since I have no clue what exactly it is I want to do as a job. But I want it to be something where I have to travel a lot.

I considered working for the diplomatic corps for a while; new country every three years, that'd be a sure way to learn new languages. Don't want to do that long-term, though, and should I ever have a family, it'd be terrible for them, so.. I sort of ruled that out for now...

*babbles at you*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Babble away!

It sounds like you've really thought this through. I think the idea of spending as many semesters away as you can is great, as long as you still wind up with enough credits to be able to graduate

[chatona.livejournal.com]

I want to study international law. They can't really blame me for studying it internationally, can they? *bounces*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

makes perfect sense to me! I'd think it should be a requirement!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

exactly my thought?

how did we get from me commenting on your fic to talking about my future? *snickers*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

umm.. no idea. But it's been an interesting journey! :)

[chatona.livejournal.com]

certainly has been :D i, uh, babble a lot? :D

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

babbling is FUN! Besides we really delved into Tony's character here (at some point) which'll help us with our further writing

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Delving into Tony's character is good. Not to mention fun. I think I shouldn't try to write Tony!angst when I'm sleepy, though *headdesk* I should know by now it'll always end up being melodramatic instead of packing a punch.

*glares at fic*

see? babbling again. ack.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I *Hate* it when fic comes out completely different than how you planned. meanies. Sometimes it winds up being better, others- not so much. Melodramatic isn't bad though! You're not going to delete it, are you? *makes sad puppy dog eyes*

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Did you read Dead Marine, Gibbs... Bruised Knees, New Job (if you haven't, do so immediately. It's probably one of the best G/D fics I have ever read)? I was sort of trying to get the same tone of sarcasm, hurt and desolation, but I think it's only ever going to end up melodramatic and that's.. driving me up the wall. Just a bit.

I'm not going to delete it, no. I'm going to whine about it and then I'm going to show it to people tomorrow and ask them what they think and then they can tell me if it's worth continuing or if I need to edit the hell out of it or if I should just give up and start over.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

I've read that one. I get what kind of tone you were going for then. But, not hitting that tone doesn't mean it wouldn't be a good story! showing it around or putting it aside for a bit and look at it later with fresh eyes- good ideas. even if you decide not to rework it you should keep it. I've stolen snippets and lines from stories I wrote but never posted because they weren't quite right and used the dialogue or whatever in something else, where it worked well

[chatona.livejournal.com]

I just, I really want to hit that tone. I love that tone. I always beg people to tell me if what I've written is worth keeping when I'm insecure about it (which I am a lot *eyeroll*). For NCIS, it's mostly luthien82 'cause there's not exactly a lot of people on my flist who even know the show...

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Well, feel free to throw NCIS things my way if you ever want another set of eyes or an American beta. My email's my username at gmail.com

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Can I throw random unfinished and unedited pieces of NCIS fiction at you so that you can tell me if they're worth keeping, too? *shifty eyes*

Wheee! American beta! Probably a very good idea if I'm writing stuff in an American fandom. My English is closer to British than American slang sometimes, I guess.

Thanks for the offer! *bounces happily*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

sure- throw away- just let me know what sort of critique you are looking for (line by line editing, overall impressions, etc)

[chatona.livejournal.com]

if (okay, when) I throw pieces of fic at you, it'll be for an overall impression. actual beta is for finished stuff *nods* *bounces*

oh, I know! can I send you the beginning of the spain!fic? so that you can tell me if it's being way too melodramatic or if it's actually worth keeping? *bounces some more*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Go for it- I need to start dinner soo (bloody kids wanting to eat) but I can look at it tonight

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Whee! Thank you! I shall e-mail it to you immediately.. and then go to bed. Time to sleep over here *nods* Thank you ♥

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

happy to help!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

e-mailed you the beginning of the story.. 's really not much. anyway. me --> bed. thanks for your help ♥ and the conversation :D