The the impotence of proofreading

[donutsweeper]

Someone put the link to this on fanficrants , it's hysterical:

Watch on YouTube

The text:

The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very, very horde on a paper for English clash
And still get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the liverwurst spoiler in the whale wide word
Yes, Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students all over the word.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English torturer in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, she said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that's all I wanted, that's all any kid wants at that age
just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn't be happy at just anal community colleague.

I really need to be challenged, challenged menstrually
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal colleague.
So if I did not improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave out word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.

Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless little clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher took the paper that I had written on A Sale of Two Titties
No I'm cereal, I am cereal
she read it out loud in front of all of my assmates.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

Spank you

Comments

[kaylashay81]

OH GOD! That is great!!!

It reminds me of my junior year of high school. Our english teach gave two grades on papers. One for content, one for grammar. I did a paper on Beowulf and got like a 97/100 for content and 70/100 for grammar because I misspelled Grendel through the whole thing. (still don't know how to spell it)

So, in response, our next assignment was a complaint poem. I wrote a poem that got published in a High School Writer's Paper and also in a book presented to the First Lady at the time (Hillary Clinton).

A Bad Speller's Compliant (or is that Complaint?)

It seems no matter how hard I try,
When it comes to spelling -- I have no clue;
At times I am so confused I start to cry,
Because I can't tell "two" from "too" from "to!"

Words like "there" and "their" I sometimes get,
But when you toss in a "they're" to the list,
I stand up and throw a noisy fit --
One might want to avoid my swinging fist!

Spelling words that have "i-e" are a pain,
Since you have to remember what comes after "c",
Then there are words such as "plane" and "plain"
That make me wish I had someplace better to be.

While in science, I always know the cause,
But would you state the "effect" of "affect" for that?
With "right" and "write" I make many flaws,
So I think I will stick with "cat", or is that "kat"?

On any person who can spell just fine,
I wish to place a "spell" on their mind,
So when they try to write a story line,
They will misspell words of each and every kind!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

ooh, I love it, I can relate completely! Did you get a 100 on the poem?

[kaylashay81]

Yup... and she was a hard one to get a 100 from. And she knew exactly why I wrote it too, so I think that had some bearing because she saw the real humor in my poem.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

but, think about it, if you had spelled Grendel right the first time around you'd never have written such a wonderful poem!

[kaylashay81]

Cause and effect... or is that affect?? ;-)

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

Now don't you start!

(effect? I think)

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

Oh but I *want* to be a prostitute for careful editing *whines*
In fact you may have to hit me with sticks because I'm *really* tempted to icon that!!!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

and now you are! :)

[chatona.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

*revives* *passes donuts*

[chatona.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, awesome icon!

*munches donut happily* I really want one right now. Don't have one, though. Life is mean like that.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

what about cookies? chocolate? both will do in a pinch!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

n-no

none of that, either. i was too lazy to go shopping which means no sweets at all. none!

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

oh that's horrible!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

yes! i... i think i'll make myself a hot chocolate. that, at least, we have.

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!! At least that's a form of chocolate!

[chatona.livejournal.com]

and sugar. if my blood sugar level drops too low, i get bitchy. i needs sugar ♥

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

*nods* sugar is good!

[rustydog.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's excellent. If it weren't for the prospect of being asked to explain "clit clit clit" I would show it to my classes. *g*

[donutsweeper.livejournal.com]

yeah, I watched it for the first time with my son and didn't know it would be slightly dirty, but luckily it went right over his head.