donutsweeper | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

To the nice person who keeps subscribing me to the "Jesus Saves" Newsletter. Thanks ever so much, but I have blocked it from my email server now. I have no desire to be saved by the likes of you, in fact you're making me wish instead of "A Pair of Jacks" I'd written "A Full House" where the two Jacks grab Owen, Janet the Weevil and the Hand and have an orgy.

So, please, give up. I'm not interested in learning the error of my ways or my hopes of redemption.

Damned and proud of it,

donutsweeper

eta- If anyone is curious about a Jack/Owen/Weevil/Hand pairing go read Experiment by

smithy161 which was written as a result of this post.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

More rapid than Weevils our Jack did begin
To yell for Ianto to bring some clothes in
Some trousers, with braces, a shirt and a vest
Two socks, his boots, and all of the rest

Ianto was willing, disturbingly so,
To dress up his Captain, and urged them to go
Out into the cold and the dark and the night
To save all of Wales from a Time Lord snowball fight

As he did up his coat, they heard from the Plass
The sinister sound of much breaking glass
When he picked up his gun, and was turning around
Down the lift shaft the Master came with a bound.

"Dear Doctor!" he said "Oh, and teaboy, and freak,
You cannot beat me, for you're all much too weak!
I'm here for a purpose, and one most nefarious,
All your lives are in balance, very precarious!"

His hair it was ginger, his face was a sight
His screwdriver soundless, it worked just by light
He ordered them out of the Hub in a hurry
To the Plass, where the snow was starting to flurry.

(Y'all rock so hard.)

I'm just sitting back and enjoying what you folks are coming up with! And C&P'ing it so we can post the whole thing later in one place!

He formed up two teams, one left and one right,
In order to have all the fun of a fight.
He paired with the Doctor, his friend from way back,
To take on the humans, Ianto and Jack.

They made balls from the snow, as white as old bones,
Though the Master, he cheated, and snuck in some stones.
They threw high! They threw low! They threw curve balls and straight!
Until the humans ran out. And were left to their fate.

excellent!

It looked grim for our lads, with no ammo in sight
The Master was cackling, "Yo, dudes," he said "Right!"
"I've got what I want, you're all in my power,
There's no-one can save you at this dismal hour."

Then up from the lift-shaft came Owen and Gwen
Toshiko, Myfanwy, and Janet, and then
Our Andy, the plod, who was saving the hour
With a bag full of doughnuts of magical power.

They opened the bag, and handed them out
The Master was baffled, but Jack gave a shout.
"Alien doughnuts," he said, "just the thing!"
"These make a party go with a swing."

So they pelted the Master, and Doctor as well
With alien doughnuts, until they did yell
And fall to their knees in a cloud of fine sugar
And that's when they started to kiss one another.

Lovingly wrapped in each other's embrace
They made for the TARDIS at a cracking pace.
Forgetting the contest, the threats to the earth
Thinking only of finding the comfiest berth.

But they heard them exclaim, as they vanished from sight
"Merry alien doughnuts! And to all a good night."

OK, here's the point where I fell over.

The poem needs a name. And a finale.

something about merry donut day to all or something....

Don't worry, it gets worse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(no subject)

Re: Kill me now.

Re: Kill me now.

Re: Kill me now.

I don't know what I'm talking about any more

Re: I don't know what I'm talking about any more

Re: I don't know what I'm talking about any more

Re: I don't know what I'm talking about any more

Can anybody play?

Re: Can anybody play?

Re: Can anybody play?

Re: Kill me now.

Re: Kill me now.

Re: Kill me now.